Taylor Swift, move aside. Oliver Anthony is the name of the new player in town. Unannounced until the day before, Anthony’s most recent show more than exceeded any attendance records set by Taylor Swift’s overhyped “Eras Tour.”
“We went from Ted Nugent and the Chilli Cookoff on Saturday to almost a million people in and around the fairground on Sunday,” concert promoter Joe Barron said. “It was amazing.” Ted felt honoured to be part of it, but a little ashamed.”
“I just want to thank Ted Nugent,” Anthony addressed the audience. “Had he not recommended I come, none of you would have gotten to taste his award-winning canned whitetail chilli.” After saying a prayer, Anthony played both of his songs and read from Ezekiel 7. It’s the first time Newhole has seen so many dungarees since Sacha Baron Cohen persuaded all the bumpkins to sing ‘Wuhan Flu’.
All of this is happening right in front of Anthony, who has taken command of the situation, imposed martial law, and stopped providing food stamps to anyone who wasn’t going to run out of food and go to some Mad Max hellscape very soon.
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